People see bi/pansexuals as a sexual Schrödinger’s Cat. Until you date some one, you’re neither straight nor gay and you simply exist as a weird in-between state that only exists as an idea and not a “real” sexuality. Date the same gender? GAY NOW. Date the opposite? STRAIGHT NOW. NO OTHER OPTIONS. STRAIGHT OR GAY, SAME AS ALIVE OR DEAD. YOUR SEXUALITY IS DEFINED BY CURRENT SEXUAL PARTNER. THIS MAKES TOTAL SENSE, LA LA LA.
I said yes because I felt it was too much trouble to say no. I said yes because I didn’t want to have to defend my “no,” qualify it, justify it - deserve it. I said yes because I thought I was so ugly and fat that I should just take sex every time it was offered, because who knew when it would be offered again. I said yes to partners I never wanted in the first place, because to say no at any point after saying yes for so long would make our entire relationship a lie, so I had to keep saying yes in order to keep the “no” I felt a secret. That is such a messed-up way to live, such an awful way to love.
So these days, I say yes only when I mean yes. It does require some vigilance on my part to make sure I don’t just go on sexual automatic pilot and let people do whatever. It forces me to be really honest with myself and others. It makes me remember that loving myself is also about protecting myself and defending my own borders. I say yes to me. Margaret Cho, “Yes Means Yes” (via myrisingvoice)
totalitarian dystopian future lit is like “what if the government got so powerful that all the bad stuff that’s already happening ALSO HAPPENED TO WHITE PEOPLE?”
Pro Tip: Don’t tell depressed people how good they have it in comparison to others. They already know and already feel guilty about it. You’re making the problem worse.
shout out to people who are scared to call others out, whose hands shake when they try to explain what’s wrong, whose throats threaten to close up with thoughts of ‘what if i’m just overreacting’, whose hearts are pounding out of their chests because they just stuck their necks out for their beliefs, who have lost friends and respect and safety for aligning themselves with causes
1. Stop faking your fucking orgasms. Society already tells young men that they run the fucking universe - if they can’t turn your cunt into a shooting star then for god’s sake, let them know about it.
2. Once you’ve stopped faking your fucking orgasms, use this newfound honesty throughout the rest of your life - stop ordering coffee you don’t actually like; stop sitting at a desk and allowing people to treat you like shit in the hopes that a meek attitude will earn you a promotion (it won’t); stop telling people they can finish your food when you’re not actually done yet. These may seem petty, but they add up, just like every orgasm you didn’t actually get to have.
3. If you wanna dance all night, dance all fucking night. Dance all night even if you have work in the morning. The worst that will happen is you’ll drink RedBull all day and look like a zombie - pass it off as a head cold to the real zombies you work with and flick through the embarrassing photos you’re being tagged in as you pretend to take a shit for some peace and quiet. I promise, you’ll remember dancing all night in ten years, not the suspicious way your boss looked at you that morning.
4. If your ass looks big in that, that’s a good thing.
5. You will never be as young as you are this second. Embrace it.
6. Embrace the fact that you’re going to get older. Ask your boyfriend if he will still love you when you’re seventy and your tits are down to your knees. Look forward to this time - seventy year old women are allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, and no-one can stop them. You can carry candy in your bag and not share it with a single soul. You can stay home all day and cross-stitch expletives onto handkerchiefs for your grandchildren and slip them under the table out of sight of the people you raised. You can drink whisky at 10am. Every phase of your life is going to be amazing for different reasons. Embrace that.
7. A lot of people will pretend to love Bukowski. Don’t pretend to love Bukowski if you don’t love Bukowski. It’s overplayed and no-one will mind if you actually like Virginia Andrews instead - the people who do mind are boring. Some more little life lessons, by Daisy Lola. (via spearmintblonde)
this is really selfish but
why can’t mental illness be like any other kind of sickness where you go to hospital and your loved ones come and give you flowers and tell you that they love you and hold your hand and make sure you get better
why doesn’t that happen instead of awkward silences and embarrassing tears and messy bedsheets and a bunch of other stuff no one actually talks about
w h y
I can’t find a single selfish thing in that.
can we just appreciate the fact that thor 2 had absolutely no boob shots or male gaze shots and the only eye candy shot we got was a totally pointless-to-the-plot slowly panning upward shot of thor’s abs glistening in the sunlight
I have no idea why
peoplegirls are celebrating that a movie in a genre with a huge female viewership has male objectification. Or are we just reveling in the male objectification..?
Hi! Your resident enby (non binary) will try to tackle this one without getting terribly sarcastic or snippy because ey is operating on too little sleep. (Also go ahead and change that girls back to people, we’re not all women here.)
1) Superhero movies do have a large female audience, this is very true - but movie studios and directors very rarely remember that. See Star Trek Into Darkness for a good example of this.
2) Women get objectified all the time. This is one of the very few times you are going to see a gratuitous full body scan of a male character in a big studio film. Which would still be morally grey but -
3) Thor has a pretty big role in the plot. (Duh) He’s a fairly complex rounded individual, considering he’s a Norse god. Thor has his own agency, his own motivations, and affects the plot on his own. In movies where females get the same camera pan that Thor did, they don’t. They are reduced to 2D or 1D characters, they don’t have any agency whatsoever, and they very probably could be replaced by sexy lamps.
Which makes this a very different deal.
The scan of Chris Hemsworth’s beautiful abs was not male objectification, because in the context of the film, Thor was not an object. Thor was a character. That scanning shot was a reward to the male-oriented fans, true, but it did not say “LOOK PRETTY BODY. no character. just body.” Which, tbh, is what a lot of the female shots say in other films.
jesus mary and joseph i want to frame this comment and put it on my wall and kiss it every day bless you you wonderful person
Additionally: when said camera pan to Thor’s sexy abs happened, a guy on my row burst out laughing. I can’t say with 100% certainty except yeah, I pretty much can, that a dude on my row would not have burst out laughing if it’d been a shot of, like, Sif’s legs. (The flipside of this was Darcy dipping what’s-his-name—Ian?—for a kiss. It got a laugh; Ian dipping Darcy wouldn’t have done the same.)
Character well-roundedness and the sexy lamp test aside, they aren’t the same thing because HISTORY. Apples to oranges.